Hi my name is Marie Gethins and I have an irrational obsession with dance reality shows.

It started with satisfying curiosity—what faded celebrities and sports stars were willing to do for a second bite of that fame apple. First the introductory stills were enough. Oiled and spray tanned in skimpy costumes, I relished the wave of shock, amusement, and a few times, the horror of the vision they created.

Then I moved onto GIFs the morning after each round of competition. Soon I wasted hours reviewing complete dance clips: rumba, jive, quickstep, cha-cha-cha, jazz, samba, waltz.

Before I knew, it was full segments, replaying my favourites. I joined an online chat room and debated scoring minutiae, became on expert on foot placement and leg extension. The season finale brought a crescendo of joy, but the elation was fleeting. The next morning, I felt empty.

I tried going cold turkey.

I fought the desire to view previous seasons on YouTube. The temptation proved too great. I realised the only way I could move forward was to distance myself from online access. I turned to reading. A childhood Hans Christian Andersen book provided comfort and distraction. The Red Shoes brought an epiphany. I had to face this head-on, overcome my obsession through a modern morality tale. And so, Demi Ledoux and her precious sugarloaf stepped into the spotlight. I am renewed!

Did you hear Vanilla Ice is doing the fox trot on DTWS next week?

Marie Gethins

Chris Jones Filmmaker and Screenwriter

Filmmaker, author, screenwriter and founder of Twisted50. Currently directing splinter unit on Mission: Impossible 8.

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